Almost Done

Though my time in Texas is not over yet, and I'm still one national exam away from being done with everything midwifery here, I've officially finished with the program! I passed the program's final exam, finished all the homework, and I have my diploma!

At the beginning of the program, the day before we started working shifts in the clinic, we were asked to write a letter to our future selves which we would read at the end of our program. I got it back the other day, and was brought to tears at the truth I was reminded of in the midst of these many hard months. 

As a type of closure to this phase of my life, and of this blog, I share the letter with you:

Sept, 20, 2012

Rejoice in the Lord! Let your gentleness show.

Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Dear AmyJoy,

     You made it. You finally made it! Through the sleepless nights, through the months of being away from family, through the constant struggle between pride and worthlessness, trying to find the humility to be nothing and the strength of having God at your side. 

     Did you find a friend to uphold you in your faith? Did God prove faithful in those hours of exhaustion and hopelessness? Did you reach out and grab onto Him? Did He remain faithful even when you fell? When you passed through the waters, was He with you? And when you went through the rivers, did they sweep over you? Were you singed in the fire? Or was He faithful?

     See His faithfulness and His care in these past months?! Go forth with confidence knowing that God's Spirit is alive within you. He will guide you and help you discern. The LORD is your Rock. He will uphold you with His righteous right hand. Trust in His promises; they are sure. Trust in His Word; He will never fail you. Now go and use the gifts He has given you to impact the world for His kingdom. Go with God. Be God's. 

I love you for Whose you are.

AmyJoy

Rest

This is something that I happened upon today thanks to pandora.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NUwsy5hTMU8

Thankfulness

Today I am thankful for
-a beautiful baby caught yesterday and the privilege of watching a girl turn into a mother
-a long night of sleep and a feeling of being alert this morning
-an exciting dream including funerals, mansions, and singing hymns with Ryan Gosling
-a calm morning, complete with tea, time to read the bible, and quiet conversations
-the expectation of seeing friends and family at church later on today

Spanish Daggers

The body is an amazing creation. I realized this again the other day when something unexpectedly strange happened. 

For the past week or two I had noticed something going on in my leg. There was first a red spot, then it started to look infected. So, curious as to what could be causing it, I took a safety pin, scissors, tweezers, and my pocketknife and set to work to find out what was causing the infection, but to no avail. I could see something dark in my leg, but it was so deep in there I was thinking it might be a blood vessel, and I could see nothing else that looked foreign, so I doused the wound in alcohol and left it. 

The body, doing its thing, scabbed the area. And me, as is my habit when scabs get itchy, picked the scab off. And out of the old wound popped a half-inch long thorn. Amazing!

Somehow the body was able to recognize that whatever that thing was, it was something foreign, and after trying to break it down and failing, it just rejected it and pushed it back out. The body truly is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

But with this thorn came mystery as well. Where did it come from? How did it get lodged in my shin? I knew I hadn't fallen on any thorns or cacti, yet here was this thing in my leg. I had heard a story from my uncle of a sliver going in one side of his hand and coming out the other, but where would the thorn have pierced in order to come out my leg? my foot? my calf? I don't think so. 

Then I went on an adventure this past Tuesday, and I realized the answer. Spanish daggers. As I was crossing the Franklin mountains, scaling cliffs and traversing rock slides, I ran into a couple of Spanish daggers. This is what they look like:

In this desert of a place, they are beautiful. They are able to add some colour to the landscape. But they hurt. You brush up against one of these and their leaves can poke straight through your jeans and skewer you. And on my hike I realized one other thing. When you get poked by one of these, more often than not the little tip of 'leaf' breaks off; and more often than not, it stays lodged in your leg, festering there until the body realizes what it is and rejects it. 

I guess this is kind of like me when I feel slighted by someone. It hurts, but I 'get over it' quickly and move on. I think it's done and over with, but then, until I am able to identify and reject the lie that the person's comment planted in my mind or the grudge that I allowed to start, those feelings can fester and infect. Just like with the Spanish daggers, there are some times when the pokers (unhealthy thoughts) are easily identified and removed, but then there are other times when it goes deep and it takes a lot of time and processing for the body (mind) to reject it. 

Maybe that's why Paul said that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Lies and hurts usually start in the mind, with misunderstandings. If we are able to identify lies and misunderstandings quickly, that can help with emotional healing as well. 

Going back to my story, from my hike on Tuesday I still have some Spanish daggers lodged in my legs, so I'l have to watch and wait and see how long my body takes to catch on and reject them.