Update

I received both my diploma from Maternidad La Luz midwifery school, and a letter stating that I passed my national exam and am a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM).

Midwifery school = completed

...for now.

Almost Done

Though my time in Texas is not over yet, and I'm still one national exam away from being done with everything midwifery here, I've officially finished with the program! I passed the program's final exam, finished all the homework, and I have my diploma!

At the beginning of the program, the day before we started working shifts in the clinic, we were asked to write a letter to our future selves which we would read at the end of our program. I got it back the other day, and was brought to tears at the truth I was reminded of in the midst of these many hard months. 

As a type of closure to this phase of my life, and of this blog, I share the letter with you:

Sept, 20, 2012

Rejoice in the Lord! Let your gentleness show.

Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Dear AmyJoy,

     You made it. You finally made it! Through the sleepless nights, through the months of being away from family, through the constant struggle between pride and worthlessness, trying to find the humility to be nothing and the strength of having God at your side. 

     Did you find a friend to uphold you in your faith? Did God prove faithful in those hours of exhaustion and hopelessness? Did you reach out and grab onto Him? Did He remain faithful even when you fell? When you passed through the waters, was He with you? And when you went through the rivers, did they sweep over you? Were you singed in the fire? Or was He faithful?

     See His faithfulness and His care in these past months?! Go forth with confidence knowing that God's Spirit is alive within you. He will guide you and help you discern. The LORD is your Rock. He will uphold you with His righteous right hand. Trust in His promises; they are sure. Trust in His Word; He will never fail you. Now go and use the gifts He has given you to impact the world for His kingdom. Go with God. Be God's. 

I love you for Whose you are.

AmyJoy

Rest

This is something that I happened upon today thanks to pandora.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NUwsy5hTMU8

Thankfulness

Today I am thankful for
-a beautiful baby caught yesterday and the privilege of watching a girl turn into a mother
-a long night of sleep and a feeling of being alert this morning
-an exciting dream including funerals, mansions, and singing hymns with Ryan Gosling
-a calm morning, complete with tea, time to read the bible, and quiet conversations
-the expectation of seeing friends and family at church later on today

Spanish Daggers

The body is an amazing creation. I realized this again the other day when something unexpectedly strange happened. 

For the past week or two I had noticed something going on in my leg. There was first a red spot, then it started to look infected. So, curious as to what could be causing it, I took a safety pin, scissors, tweezers, and my pocketknife and set to work to find out what was causing the infection, but to no avail. I could see something dark in my leg, but it was so deep in there I was thinking it might be a blood vessel, and I could see nothing else that looked foreign, so I doused the wound in alcohol and left it. 

The body, doing its thing, scabbed the area. And me, as is my habit when scabs get itchy, picked the scab off. And out of the old wound popped a half-inch long thorn. Amazing!

Somehow the body was able to recognize that whatever that thing was, it was something foreign, and after trying to break it down and failing, it just rejected it and pushed it back out. The body truly is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

But with this thorn came mystery as well. Where did it come from? How did it get lodged in my shin? I knew I hadn't fallen on any thorns or cacti, yet here was this thing in my leg. I had heard a story from my uncle of a sliver going in one side of his hand and coming out the other, but where would the thorn have pierced in order to come out my leg? my foot? my calf? I don't think so. 

Then I went on an adventure this past Tuesday, and I realized the answer. Spanish daggers. As I was crossing the Franklin mountains, scaling cliffs and traversing rock slides, I ran into a couple of Spanish daggers. This is what they look like:

In this desert of a place, they are beautiful. They are able to add some colour to the landscape. But they hurt. You brush up against one of these and their leaves can poke straight through your jeans and skewer you. And on my hike I realized one other thing. When you get poked by one of these, more often than not the little tip of 'leaf' breaks off; and more often than not, it stays lodged in your leg, festering there until the body realizes what it is and rejects it. 

I guess this is kind of like me when I feel slighted by someone. It hurts, but I 'get over it' quickly and move on. I think it's done and over with, but then, until I am able to identify and reject the lie that the person's comment planted in my mind or the grudge that I allowed to start, those feelings can fester and infect. Just like with the Spanish daggers, there are some times when the pokers (unhealthy thoughts) are easily identified and removed, but then there are other times when it goes deep and it takes a lot of time and processing for the body (mind) to reject it. 

Maybe that's why Paul said that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Lies and hurts usually start in the mind, with misunderstandings. If we are able to identify lies and misunderstandings quickly, that can help with emotional healing as well. 

Going back to my story, from my hike on Tuesday I still have some Spanish daggers lodged in my legs, so I'l have to watch and wait and see how long my body takes to catch on and reject them. 

God Sighting

Life has been full of extremes lately, and understandably so. The end of this intense program is starting to draw near, and sometimes it seems like other things are getting close to the end too, like my strength, my patience, and my sanity :)

But in spite of all the things going on in life, God still shows up in amazing ways, one of which I will share here:

When I first came to El Paso we stayed at a La Quinta hotel here, and while my parents were here we got to stay there again. Over the past months here I've gone back to the hotel a number of times to reconnect with the staff there and to have a safe place to hang out and use the internet. I've enjoyed getting to know the front desk manager and having the opportunity to hang out with him and partner. Because of the nature of my job and the nature of their lifestyle our conversations have been diverse, and they, knowing my beliefs, have asked my opinion and perspective on a lot of controversial and sensitive subjects. I think there was mutual respect as far as worldview went, and I enjoyed being challenged to put my thoughts and beliefs into words, and in turn being heard, countered, and challenged to think further. Though the conversations seemed to be enjoyed by both parties, there seemed to be a mutual understanding that neither of us was going to change.
But then, when my mom was able to spend time with our friend, he shared with her that there had been a change in his life, and God was able to use my mom to listen to him and to speak truth into his life. What an amazing surprise for me! I don't know what the change means yet, but God does, and He is already at work.

Gone

So, my parents left yesterday. And thanks to God and some pilots, they are currently safely back in Canada. Leaving them at the airport was NOT the best part of my day. But I did get to enjoy a bit more swimming before I had to leave the hotel. :)

Cliff Scaling

Today is the last full day that my parents will be here. Thus, today is the last official day of my self-assigned vacation. I have been so blessed by this time. My meals have been well rounded and three a day. My horizontal (rest) time has been close to 12 hours a day. My exercise has been running over mountains and breathing the fresh air. It has been glorious!
Today consisted of a relaxing morning, writing letters and cards and listening to music (today's sound track was Rend Collective's Campfire CD). We went over to Sam's for lunch. Though it's less than 5 minutes walking from my place, I hadn't been there yet. If you want Chinese food in El Paso, check it out!
After lunch, my wonderful mother offered to stay back to do some more food prep and laundry and leave my dad and I to roam the hills. So my dad and I headed off to 'my' cliff, and scrambled up it, and then back down, taking some sweet time to rest and enjoy the view at the top. It was a workout, with all the loose rocks and thorny vegetation, but what an adventure it was!
My favourite part: talking over lunch and then later on the mountain with my parents about what they are learning and where they see themselves in the future. ...I like being able to have some sort of connection with them more than just the practical surface stuff.

Mountains

Today was a beautiful day. The weather was typical El Paso weather: sunny, windy, and perfect for hiking. We went up to the McKelligon canyon trails and made it to the top of the mountain. Then we stopped in at Caffe Fioretti for lunch with the couple who have been like parents to me during my stay here in El Paso. It was both an exquisite tea house and wonderful company. The afternoon found us shopping for shoes. My own shoes have survived (barely) hundreds of miles of walking, hiking, and running, and they look a bit worse for the wear. I know that duct tape is sometimes used for repair jobs involving shoes, but with the stitching falling apart and the bottoms wearing through, a new pair was in order. Thankfully my mother was with me. I have yet to find someone as thorough in looking and as patient in my indecision as she is, and thanks to her persistence, I now have a new pair of shoes.
My favourite part of today: running over the tops of the mountains with my mom and dad. ...and here's a picture of him at the top of one of the mountains!

Pool Party

Today was another wonderful day of adventures with my parents. We walked to church, then ran over to a sweet mexican place for lunch with some dear friends, and then came back to the hotel. My favourite part: I got to go swimming!

Meddachschlop

My parents arrived for a visit this Wednesday. Though I stopped by the hotel to see them when they arrived late in the evening, I worked Thursday to Friday, and was a the school writing my final exam during the day on Friday, so I finally joined them on Friday afternoon. We were able to go to small group in the evening, where they met the people who have become my El Paso family.
My favourite part of our time together so far was our day on the mountain. It was such a blessing to relax so far from the hubbub of the city, eating peanut butter sandwiches, wandering the trails, and resting. Here's a snippet from our day.

Psalm 118:5-6

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord;
He brought me into a spacious place. 

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me? 

New Year

It's 2014!

The first day of my year 2014 started with the wee morning hours spent floating through a haze of cat naps labour checks and a birth at the clinic. The sunrise was simple and beautiful, the start of a new day. From work I headed off to the mountain. Being the first day of the year, the state parks were closed, except for the tramway trail, which was open for a guided hike. Having been invited by some of my friends, I was excited to finally get on the mountain again and spend some time with friends in the great outdoors. 

The climb was an exhilarating and exhausting experience, and since there were not many people on the hike, it was good to get to hear the stories of some of the other hikers. There was a father and son from Washington, a couple of friends from Mexico, a family from El Paso, and the leader and his wife had transfered in from a park in Florida to be able to live in the mountains here. It was a relaxed group, eager to hike and be outdoors. 

Making it to the top, we enjoyed the view before piling onto the tram and heading down. Because of the nine people stuffed into the tram instead of the normal six, the space allowed us to get very close very quickly and our trip down was accompanied by joking and laughter. 

There was one other young lady on the tram, and her easygoing nature and sense of humor attracted me to her, so on getting off the tram, I introduced myself to her. That one simple introduction started a conversation that touched on everything from current schooling, future dreams, and faith. It was such a blessing to spend time with someone passionate about her faith, searching for opportunity to connect with and care for those around her, and living life with intentionallity and joy. What an unexpected encouragement!

Just goes to show that I never know who I'll meet or what I'll learn when I choose to reach out, even just to say hi. What a way to start off the year!